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Potty Training is Like Fight Club…

February 18, 2013

You don’t talk about potty training… especially on the internet.

I have witnessed many a blogger and facebook friend get slammed whenever they discuss how sucky potty training is. It’s the most moronic thing in the world. Because, you know, everybody raises their child the same. Or should. But alas, some of us still have trouble in certain areas. William was walking by 9 months and is brilliant, yet whenever I ask him if he wants to go potty he screams and runs in the opposite direction because it’s going to “swallow him”. And this is a toddler potty.

But this isn’t a circumcision debate y’all. Or even breastfeeding vs. the bottle. (GASP!) This is the toughest thing in the world for a lot of us. I can’t casually mention that I’ve started using bribery in the form of a Doc McStuffins playset without some asshat saying “Oh, well. Sally Sue was potty trained at 18 months. William is how old???” Um. Suck my entire dick. I also witnessed the comment section blow up on one of my favorite blogger’s posts because she was having a hard time with it too. Are you kidding me? Click the red X and mind your own kids, kthnxbai. So end rant on that because I’m going into detail about how much I hate potty training.

It really blows. He’s gotten to the point where he will wear the training pants I bought him (we’re not doing pull-ups) but he still wants to pee in them. Or he will take them off in the living room and pee in front of the bathroom door. So you know, I get to step in it. I have his sticker chart up and I have told him time and time again he gets his playset when he potties for two straight weeks. I feel like that’s harsh in a way because it might take him forever to get to that point, but seriously. I feel like I’ll have to change his diaper before his first date.

I want to get him potty trained as soon as possible because I want him to move up in his preschool class. I would totally be more hippy about it and let him do it when he’s ready but he’s the oldest kid in his class now and it’s kind of frustrating knowing he is smart enough to move upstairs and do actual preschool activities instead of watching tv and getting bored and hitting kids all day.

Send wine.


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  1. Have you tried using the pullups that give the cold sensation after you go? That helped motivate Annalise.

    Another thing I’ve heard works particularly well with boys (which I do not have) is putting a sticker or cheerio in their potty to aim at… make it a game – if they hit the target they get something special – whether it’s a tangible gift or a trip to the park, etc. If you have color-changing stickers, that’s even better because when they hit the target it turns a different color. Right now, trix yogurt has a color changing stick that may work particularly well for this. 😉

    Good luck. It’ll happen.

    • I haven’t heard of those pull-ups. My reasoning for not using them is that I’ve heard thy slow down the process because they feel like a diaper. And I have a ton of cloth training pants. I should look into those though if the cold sensation works!

      William really like to sit down to potty. I have a cheerio on hand though but right now I think he’s just now getting used to the potty and the idea it won’t snatch him up. Thanks for all the advice!

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