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I Need Direction

May 3, 2013

No not One Direction (even though I’d sell my soul for a night with Louis… uhm… jk?)

I need a plan for my life. With the impending doom of my graduation tomorrow, it has become clear to me that I need to focus. I know I want to go to grad school. That’s a given. But I’m torn between getting my masters in English or Communication Arts. So that’s one thing. I know I want to take Othello with Dr. Nelson in the spring, but there’s a part of me that wants to go to Tuscaloosa…

Another thing is that I have ZERO CLUE WHERE I’M HEADING… in terms of employment. I know I don’t want to be a Cashier for the rest of my life. But what do I really want to do? What speaks to me? Besides hopping on the first plane to New York and trying Broadway. That will never happen. I want to write. I want to write something brilliant. I want to be published and be successful for something that isn’t complete trash.

I need something to reach out and grab me and shake me to my core. I’ve never truly had that feeling. A calling. Besides Broadway haha. So I’m going to try and be better about blogging and trying to become a bigger blogger and maybe share some of my personal short stories here and maybe that will give me some kind of critique or focus or maybe it will suck and I’ll quit. Who knows? Cause I sure don’t.



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One Comment
  1. Sheena permalink

    I never realized we were such kindred souls…

    Aristotle – “Where your talents and the needs of the world cross; there lies your vocation.”

    I know, much easier said than done! However, Jessica, growing up with you, I have to say… I’m so impressed with the woman you’re growing into and I know how hard it is trying to find your place in the world. If you’re like me, I’ve found it is even more difficult because we place so much pressure upon ourselves to find that finite thing that moves us! My dear, you know that thing in your heart, already, I’m sure! Even if you’re hesitant to submit to it, as I am. Somehow, we have to find a way to that place where these needs and passions converge. What an interesting burden! Rejoyce in your gifts and talents and be grateful for your beautiful mind. Write. Every day! No matter how trite it seems. Write it down. I applaud your efforts to write more. It is easy to submit to the world and forget that special place in your mind’s eye where you keep those wonderful and beautiful ideas.

    I never realized we share many of the same passions! It seems we both have the same gift with words and the same inner-ache to give something of ourselves that is greater than the fulfillment a “regular” vocation can provide. What you do with that ache is what matters! I have found that, as simplistic as it sounds, writing makes me happy, so I write for myself and no one else. I work and go to school and meet all these societal obligations for every one else…. for myself, I write. It may never pay my bills. It will probably never pay a single bill. However, it’s mine and no one can take it away. I’ve stopped worrying about it and just started writing as often as I feel the ache of inspiration.

    Maybe we’ll find our places…. hopefully, we’ll find them… even if we don’t succeed in the ways we desire, at least we can say we tried to contribute to something larger than ourselves. I wonder how many people feel this way?

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